Posts Tagged ‘ Discovery Channel ’

Severed Limbs, Missing Flesh, and Dead Seals… Oh Yea! It’s Shark Week Baby!

The 2012 London Olympics has been a fun ride. I really enjoyed the fresh opening ceremony with Mary Poppins battling Lord Valdemort. I watched in awe as Gabby Douglas won her gold medal in gymnastics. It was awesome witnessing history when Michael Phelps broke the all-time record for Olympic medals. I caught the super cocky Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt reaffirm his status as the fastest man in the world.  I followed every detail of the Chinese Badminton scandal and I got a good laugh when that Judo fighter got kicked out for eating pot brownies – which he  claimed to have ingested unknowingly. Right.

In short the #Lympics were awesome.  Merica’ dominated and stole the show (as usual). We took home da golds and let the rest of the world know we failed P.E. cause Merica’ don’t play.

Now let us get onto more important things……such as the start of Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

Shark Week is a special time of the year. It’s an opportunity for the different nations to put aside their differences and unify around their shared love of shark-based TV programming. Conflicts and grudges are forgotten and we reconnect with what unites us as humanity – namely the fact that we are all horrified yet fascinated by sharks.

In light of the Summer Olympics and the 25th anniversary of Shark week coming up I think it is important to shed some awareness on the people who overly vamp the world up for these events.  Below you can see the differences and quite possibly even some similarities:

Olympic Fans: Have been preparing and promoting the Summer Olympics since the last Winter Olympics.  Most likely have had Facebook invites to their homes for their friends and families to enjoy veggies together while they watch the curling session.

Shark Week Fans: Besides the people that obviously are working for the marketing team. Shark week fans have no idea when it’s going to start until at least a day and half into the week. And then they act as if they have been waiting for this week ever since…. Wait how long ago was the last shark week? Do we have one every year?

Olympic Fans: Will set their alarms and wake up at 3am just so they can watch the diving match.

Shark Week Fans:  Will watch sharks diving their teeth into people’s throats all the way up until the bar closes and then… Go to bed.  I mean I can TiVo it or rent it when it comes to DVD.

Olympic Fans: Are intellectual human beings.  They actually care about culture and geography.

Shark Week Fans: Not so much into brains as they are into their beer.  But hey, we can at least name off 3 different oceans the sharks have attacked in.

Olympic Fans: Most likely athletes or were athletes at some point or have now just figured out that working out can make you look like you are an athlete thus meaning if you watch the Olympics you will look even more like an athlete.

Shark Week Fans: Hipsters or want to be hipsters.  People who just want to seem like they’re in the ‘know’ with what’s cool these days.  Couples or friends that think it’s cool to dress as a shark and victim for Halloween.

Olympic Fans: Care about team work, playing fair, and dominating China every opportunity they get.

Shark Week Fans: Don’t currr as long as a shark sinks its teeth into some fresh meat.

Ok, so maybe the simularities were a long shot.  What we can conclude with is that the Olympics fans are good wholesome people who care about the world USA dominating the world, and Shark week viewers just want to see more people die in the ocean…

Until next time Stay Fresh My Friends

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